11 Common Myths About Grief

Many people facing grief hear well-meaning but unhelpful myths. If you’ve experienced grief or are trying to encourage a grieving friend, remember the difference between these common myths and the truth about grief:

1. “Grief follows five clear stages.”

Truth: The five stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) are not a strict roadmap. People may move in and out of them, skip some, or experience them in a different order, or not at all.

2. “Grief should be over quickly if you trust God.”

Truth: Grief has no set timeline. God is patient with our healing. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.”

3. “They’re in a better place, so you shouldn’t be upset.”

Truth: While believers may have hope in eternal life, loss still hurts. Mourning is part of love, not a lack of belief in heaven.

4. “Christians should always feel joy.”

Truth: Joy and sorrow can coexist. Paul wrote, “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10). Christian joy doesn’t mean denial of pain.

5. “Crying shows a lack of trust in God.”

Truth: Tears are not a spiritual failure. They are part of how we process pain. Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is “a time to weep.”

6. “If you don’t cry, you’re not really grieving.”

Truth: Everyone grieves differently. Some express it with tears, others through silence, action, or prayer. There’s no “right way.”

7. “Moving on means forgetting them.”

Truth: Moving forward doesn’t mean letting go of love or memory. You can honor the person while continuing to live fully.

8. “Talking about the person who died makes it worse.”

Truth: For many, sharing memories brings comfort and connection. Avoiding the topic can actually make someone feel more isolated.

9. “Keeping busy will make it go away.”

Truth: Staying busy might temporarily distract from pain, but unprocessed grief often resurfaces later. Feeling it is part of healing.

10. “You should be over this by now.”

Truth: Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. Love and sorrow don’t have an expiration date. Also, grief isn’t something you “get over.” It’s something you learn to carry.

11. “If you have faith, you won’t feel sadness.”

Truth: Even Jesus, the Son of God, grieved deeply. We see in John 11:35 that Jesus wept. If Jesus can experience sadness, then so can we.

We pray that distinguishing the difference between some common myths and the truth about grief will help you or a loved one navigate the grieving process a little better. As always, we are here for you, so don’t hesitate to contact our team if you need some help.

Follow us on social media, @renewed_counseling, for more tips on managing grief like this!

Sarai Escarment